Sunday, February 19, 2017

ImprovBoston II

Here is the second part of the stand-up that I am preparing for ImprovBoston presentation that I have in 8 days. A lot has happened since my last post here. Particularly, the drama about Trump's executive order and also deterioration in the health of Alex Lopez (my PhD supervisor). All these pressures make it hard for me to do stand-up. In any case, I am going to give it a shot:

My name is Shahin. What kind of weird name it is? If you wonder, let me tell you that it is an Iranian name.  You remember those seven bad countries who wanted to send bad guys to do bad things? Iran was one of them. But... don't worry. I have always said to my friends that I am not a bad person... and they always believe...
Well my name is an animal's name. Yes, that's right. My parents selected their favorite animal and put its name on me. That's how I started my childhood! Shahin, my name, means hawk. Other Iranian parents use other animals such as Dove, Gazal, and Lion. It means I have mammal friends, I have bird friends, and even I have insect friends. Yes, I have a fucking insect friend whose name is Butterfly. To be fair, I am still looking for an amphibian friend. My girl-friend's name is Mina, which literally means Mynah. Yes, she is also bird... a bird which happens to be in hawk's diet. In other words, I am her predator... So, imagine your name is python and your girlfriend's name is chicken. That's my situation!. After all, I am not complaining. There are worse Iranian names. I have a friend whose name is name is Poopack. Yes, Poo Pack. I have a few theories about Poo Pack's parents. Either they did not know any English, which is unlikely in the modern times, Or, they knew it and they did not like UK and US; so they put a name on Poo Pack to prevent her from migrating to US or UK. Maybe they were fond of Germany. Another theory is that Poo Pack was unwanted, and they wanted to get revenge of their uninvited guest to came to f... their lives. I cannot verify my theories because I find it hard to discuss this issue with Poo Pack. If you wonder what Poo Pack is, it is hopoe, yet another animal. Iranian obsession with Poo names is reflected in other names such as Pooria Pooneh Pooyan Poojan. 

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